


Overheard

by mandykaysfic



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandykaysfic/pseuds/mandykaysfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheppard overhears something potentially compromising.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overheard

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "mundane_bingo" prompt: neighbors having loud sex.
> 
> Extra Lorne/Parrish 100 word drabble at the end.

“Come on, damn you. Grow.”

Sheppard came to a sudden stop outside Parrish's quarters.

“Grow. Bigger. Stronger. I order you.”

Yes, that was definitely Lorne's voice. He shook his head at the corny dialog, very unlike he imagined Lorne would be and made a mental note to subtly remind Lorne to keep things down. He prepared to move on, but he couldn't help pausing at Parrish's next comment.

“See, I told you. Big, strong orders make things bigger and stronger. The measurements don't lie.”

The Rolling Stones suddenly began belting out 'Satisfaction', blocking any further dialog and with a grin, Sheppard returned to his patrol of the living quarters with an easier mind as he wondered briefly who measured whom, and whether they would eventually get some satisfaction.

 

A week or so later, he had company when he was reminded he'd forgotten to tell Lorne soundproofing wasn't a feature of Ancient architecture. Rodney had joined him several minutes ago, wanting John's input into something he was positive couldn't wait half an hour for John to finish up and join him in the lab.

“Again!”

That was Parrish. John couldn't help it. He paused. Lorne's orders to grow longer and thicker stopped even McKay in his tracks.

“What?” Rodney's eyebrows rose. 

“More! Keep going. It's working.”

“I didn't think Parrish would be into anything like that,” he muttered as he tilted his head, straining to more clearly hear Lorne's next instructions. 

“Into what?” asked John without thinking.

“Domination. Submission.” Rodney waved his hands. “You know. I mean, he's obviously directing Lorne.”

“It's kind of bizarre though, don't you think?”

“Not really. Statistics show -.”

“I didn't mean that,” interrupted John. "I meant that he needed Lorne's instructions to,” and this time it was John who gestured.

“Oh, no. It's not Parrish's dick needing orders to achieve an erection, although,” and Rodney paused meditatively while John spluttered indignantly. “It's more like Lorne's capable of exceeding expectations with the right encouragement. Long-er, thick-er - see? It's already long and thick; Parrish just wants -.”

'Whole Lotta Love' blasted out. John made an executive decision to finish his patrol later and hustled Rodney down to his lab. Predictably, once he got there he lost all interest in Parrish and Lorne's exploits and within minutes, the two of them were engrossed in figures and diagrams.

 

At least they confined their activities to the middle of the day when nobody else was around. John almost groaned when he heard them at it again. He suppressed any feelings of guilt as he stopped to listen once more.

He wasn't convinced Rodney was right about Parrish giving the orders to Lorne. A shiver passed through him when Lorne gave the now familiar order to grow, and he pictured Parrish on his back, hands wrapped around his dick, encouraging it to obey Lorne. Lorne really wasn't terribly creative, John thought. He sounded more like a teenager than a drill sergeant, or whatever he was purporting to be. He could take lessons from Rodney, who had an excellent vocabulary and a way with the most colorful of metaphor.

He also wondered at the music. In the context of what he'd been hearing, 'Rock Around the Clock' didn't make a whole lot of sense. He wasn't expecting the door to slide open, and John had to step back in a hurry as Lorne almost crashed into him.

“Colonel,” greeted Lorne loudly, trying to make himself heard.

“Major.” Sheppard shifted uncomfortably. He was right. Lorne must have been telling Parrish what to do. There was no way he could have finished and then dressed so quickly, unless, unless Parrish had forbidden Lorne to come. He wet his lips, and completely missed most of what Lorne had said. Fortunately the words Mess Hall penetrated his brain and he quickly agreed.

He focused on Lorne's proposal for a new series of war games with a twist, marveling at his control. Nobody would guess he'd been ordering Parrish to make his erection thicker and stronger less than five minutes earlier. While he didn't want to interfere with anyone's relationship, he really needed to say something about the volume of music before somebody else brought it to his attention, but here wasn't the best place to do it.

“Let's adjourn to my office and finalize the details.” Sheppard pushed back his chair and headed off.  
The details of the games were settled quickly. Sheppard made sure he saved them, and when Lorne stood, he waved him to sit back down.

“Listen,” he began, “about the music.”

“It's all right. We cleared it with Parrish's neighbor's first. Two hours per day, times to be announced a week in advance.”

“They're all fine with it?” Sheppard was stunned. DADT wasn't to be ignored to that extent. “The... the shouting, and everything as well?”

“Of course. As long as we stick to the previously advised times. Parrish personally explained how important this was to him, not to mention the possible benefits to personnel as a whole.” 

“Everyone?”

“McKay will be particularly grateful.” Lorne gave a laugh and looked to Sheppard for confirmation.

“So McKay knows what's going on.”

“Parrish brought it to his attention a week ago. Didn't he mention it?”

“I can't say that he did,” hedged Sheppard.

“Hmm, I could have sworn I saw it had been discussed at the senior staff meeting.”

He might have dozed through some of the more boring parts of the meetings, but Sheppard was positive he'd remember anything of that nature on the agenda.

“May I?” Lorne pulled Sheppard's laptop to face him and searched through the minutes of the various meetings. “Here you go. Native coffee plant experiments. The samples from PX4-765.”

“That's the coffee plant experiment?” Sheppard sagged with embarrassed relief. “I thought plants were supposed to like classical music.”

“No. Apparently they like rock music better.”

“And the, er, shouting?”

“That too. Apparently they grow faster if you order them to. Parrish's measurements seem to confirm the fact. Jergens has some plants he's sweet talking, but I think he's cheating using 'Hooked on Classics'.”

“That would probably be cheating,” agreed Sheppard. 

Once he was alone, he rested his head in his hands. Coffee plants. There would be plenty of happy people if they didn't have to depend on Daedalus runs for their caffeine fix. A small place in his mind regretted the mundane explanation, even if it did make his job easier. 

END

(Extra drabble – Lorne stood outside Sheppard's office and breathed a sigh of relief. Sheppard had accepted his explanation. It was the truth, just not the whole truth. Parrish did have native coffee beans that weirdly responded to loud orders by flourishing, and they did seem to prefer rock music to anything else. Lorne just happened to be in a clandestine relationship with Parrish, and for now he could indulge Parrish in some of kinks he shared with the coffee plants. They weren't the only things that grew in response to loud orders and rock music. They had the measurements to prove it.   
Really the end.)


End file.
